Emeryn.com

It was totally a mixed feelings. The anxiousness, excitement, hopeful, impatience, fearful, importance, frustration,  joyful, ecstatic, helpless, hysterical, etc … it’s all mixed up. The feelings is beyond words and wanting to know the future, what the future beholds for me.

You wouldn’t know how much of excitement and anxiousness which I endured while waiting for the pregnancy results. It was a planned pregnancy. It’s been 46 days(6.5 weeks) now, I should be able to know the results.

Pregnant? Not Pregnant?

Single? Twins? Triplets? Quadruplets? Quintuplets? Sixtuplets?

All these kept turning in my head…

Then it’s time, the doctor finally call us in. I walked into the room happily, hoping for a good news. But, the news wasn’t that great, I shall say, it wasn’t even considered a good news. The image is blur. Doctor said compared to his other patients, by 46 days usually the image should be clearer than what we are seeing. He said that I should be worry, worry if there will be a miscarriage. You wouldn’t know how much of disappointment got into me. I almost cried. I didn’t want to hear that. All I wanted to hear is that he/she is doing wonderful in the stomach and  just need to wait for the labor.

I tried to be strong to not shed any tears…

Doctor advise to come back in another 10 days time, to do another round of checking again. Oh god, 10 days… seconds felt like weeks, minutes felt like months, hours felt like years, days felt like decades, weeks felt like centuries.

I can’t continue writing now, I’ll write when I’m ready, when I’m feeling stronger emotionally. I’ll be away at Bali when you are reading this, hopefully, Bali do help ease my tension away.